Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Should I ask for help?

After reading Roni's post today about being exposed, I wanted to go back and watch the video about vulnerability again because it seems as though Roni is living proof of exactly what was being talked about.  And I wanted to write down some key points that really stood out to me.
The biggest one, of course, is: 
Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle of worthiness but it’s also the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, love.
You cannot selectively numb emotion.  Unless we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we won't be able to feel the full spectrum of emotions.  That in itself makes me want to try.

But what does it mean to me to be vulnerable? 

Here's a silly thing that's been on my mind.  I don't really know how to clean.  I mean, I know how to pick up and wipe down the bathroom counter but I don't know how to mop a floor and wash dishes or how to stay on top of it all.  I don't know how to be organized and to motivate others in my family to be organized.  I have some ideas but I don't know how to put them into practice.

So I've been thinking about asking my sisters to give me their tips.  I kind of started this already with my oldest sister.  I asked her how she stays organized with her bills and with keeping her house organized.  It was kind of fun to get some tips from her and I bet she didn't even know her way of life was worthy of sharing! 

A few problems.  First, I have to ask for the help.  Second, I have to risk being laughed at.  I'm sure both of them will think it's weird.  So all of that is uncomfortable.

Ultimately I don't feel that silly for not knowing these things.  I just didn't pick them up anywhere along the way.  And the things I did pick up are apparently not the way to do it anymore.  But I am curious and willing to learn.

I guess this comes down to being willing to look stupid.  Being willing to show that I don't know it all already and that I need help or guidance.  Having the courage to be imperfect.  Being VULNERABLE! LOL

I hate it.  I usually want to avoid it at all costs and here I go, throwing myself into the middle of it.  And if they mock me, I will just say, "I know this might sound silly but I just never learned these things.  I'd love to get your help."  After that it's just mean to mock, right?

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